• Inner Work,  Personal Journey

    What a Big Life Change Meant for Me

    I recently experienced a MAJOR life change. It was something that occurred unexpectedly and caused acute stress in me. I had a very rough 24-hours as I digested what had happened. From the moment I realized what was happening (it took a good long moment, mind you) something interesting occurred. Gratitude began to percolate in me (along with a whole lot of other feelings— like sadness, fear, and shame). Why Gratitude? I think this happened because I knew that as one door slammed shut in my face that I would open another. I knew that all the deep and painful personal work I’ve put into myself and into my relationships…

  • Body & Wellness

    Current Skincare Routine

    After having done Dr. Sandy Skotnicki’s Product Elimination Diet last June I worked with my medical esthetician at The Best You to create my new routine. Along with facial treatments (micro dermabrasion, micro needling, radio frequency and IPL) spread out through the year, I think my routine has served me well. The skin issues I had are well controlled or have disappeared. Some folks might look at the time and money I spend on my skin and judge it as frivolous, expensive or excessive. I know for me the time and money I spend enhances my sense of well-being. There are other things I don’t spend time or money on…

  • Perimenopause,  Sexuality

    Is it a Lube? Is it a Vaginal Moisturizer?

    Basic Definition A lubricant is a substance that lessens friction. They are used to make sexual activities (in particular vaginal and anal penetration) more comfortable and hopefully more pleasurable. We tend to use them when we want more lubrication than what our body’s own lubrication is providing. Which is pretty much everyone at one point or another or even often most of the time (like me for the past 20 years – yep, I need me lots of lube and have since my mid-twenties).  Sufficient vaginal lubrication is subjective, individual and not the signifier of sexual arousal that we have been taught to believe it is. Not at all in…

  • News & Notes

    Back to Writing & Posting

    Hello again. I have a new work schedule (4 days on and 3 days off) and have the time and energy once again to blog. I’m so looking forward to it. I have started by re-organizing this website so bear with me as the posting dates are wrong and the formatting gets some tweaks. I appreciate your patience. All my best, Seska

  • News & Notes

    Writing Hiatus

    I will be taking a writing hiatus. I will be back to writing here September 2019. In the meantime, you can follow me over at Instagram. Take care of yourselves and have a little bit of fun too. ;-) Seska Lee

  • Sexuality

    Lube – Sexy Time Basics

    This is an updated version of an article I wrote in 2000. It’s now part 1 of a series of posts on how lube can help the perimenopausal vagina. Myth When a cis woman is aroused she has enough vaginal lubrication to make all the activities on her sexy time agenda comfortable and pleasurable. If she does not, then she must be defective in some way. She must be broken, not turned on, etc. Truth It’s often assumed that vaginal lubrication is an automatic response to sexual arousal, but it doesn’t always work that way. A total myth. To get some perspective I highly recommend the fantastic Ted Talk on…

  • Body & Wellness,  Simplicity

    Minimalist Skincare

    Definitions For some people a minimalist skincare routine is all about having a minimal amount of products. It might be to save time, space, money or to avoid over cleaning and treating their skin. For others minimalist skincare is not about how many products they own, but using products with very few ingredients. They might focus on minimally processed natural ingredients. They might buy certain brands that contain few ingredients. They might make their own lotions and potions. For some it’s about minimal packaging so they have minimal waste when they are finished. My Minimalist Skincare Routine Minimalism for me is about simplifying the things I do day-to-day and creating space…

  • Body & Wellness

    Feel Good, Look Good

    For the past 5 years I’ve been focused on my quest for a simpler, healthier life. It’s been a fascinating and rewarding search. I’m constantly discovering strategies that help bring me into a more consistent state of equanimity. It may seem superficial to some, but focusing on my skin has been a part of my wellness because how I feel in my body and how I feel about my body helps me generate my Core Desired Feelings (CDFs). And ignoring my skin or mistreating it can take me off track. Let Me Explain As a woman in her late 40s my skin is changing. My hormonal balance is changing from my reproductive years…

  • Body & Wellness

    A Skin Care Journey – Part 2

    A few days ago I wrote an introductory post about my skin and the irritations and reactions I’ve been experiencing in recent years. I’ve been researching and reading books in hopes of finding a remedy. Most have been diet related. Recently though I read Beyond Soap: The Real Truth About What You Are Doing to Your Skin and How to Fix It for a Beautiful, Healthy Glow by Dr. Sandy Skotnicki (a dermatologist with over 20 years of professional experience) and it has me adding a new tool to my clear, smooth and radiant skin toolbox. Our skin’s appearance is due to a mix of genetics (about 60%) and lifestyle choices (40%).…

  • Body & Wellness

    A Skin Care Journey – Part 1

    I’m not sure where or when this recently published book – Beyond Soap: The Real Truth About What You Are Doing to Your Skin and How to Fix It for a Beautiful, Healthy Glow by Dr. Sandy Skotnicki – came on to my radar, but I know it did because when I saw it displayed during a recent bookshop trip I recognized it immediately as something that I had heard about and was a must-read for me. I’ve always been a bit skin obsessed and doing what I can so that my skin is blemish free, smooth and bouncy. The more I learn the more I realize that most of my efforts…

  • Perimenopause

    Estrogen, Vaginas & BV

    There is so much to know about how estrogen supports genitourinary health. For this blog entry my focus is on one of my favourite topics – estrogen and the vaginal microbiome (also known as the vaginal flora). During pre-menopause (your active reproductive years) estrogen causes the outer layer of vaginal cells to shed naturally. When they die off they release glycogen which converts to glucose (sugar). Lactobacillus (the “good” bacteria) coverts the glucose to lactic acid. This acid keeps pH levels in the healthy pre-menopause levels of 3.5 and 5. When estrogen starts to diminish this vaginal cell shedding process slows down and the lactobacillus starves. The bacterial balance is…

  • Perimenopause

    That Smell Down There & How To Get Rid Of It

    Bacterial Vaginosis & Perimenopause Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) can occur when the vaginal environment experiences a change in flora equilibrium – when healthy lactobacilli is diminished which then creates extra production of less desirable bacteria. This harmful bacteria produces enzymes that break down vaginal protein and causes an unpleasant discharge and odour. What researchers and doctors are discovering is that this change is often due to an increase in pH (normal levels are 3.5-5 on a scale of 0 to 14 – so low and acidic). An increase in pH can be caused by: menstruation (blood has a pH of 7.4), semen (ph of 7.1-8), perimenopause  and menopause (because when estrogen…

  • News & Notes

    I Want To Vlog But Should I?

    Big Decisions I’m thinking of starting to vlog. I had hoped to start last fall, but I didn’t have the funds to get the equipment so I put the idea on hold while I saved up. But there was more than finances to the delay. There was trepidation. If I vlog I want to focus on my current interests of simplicity, minimalism and wellness (especially midlife issues like perimenopause). I wasn’t sure if my following on social media was interested in that kind of content. I still mainly get e-mails and comments from people who knew me from my adult industry work. While some do say they enjoy my authenticity…

  • Perimenopause

    Why Do I Have Heavy Periods?

    Endometrial Hyperplasia During perimenopause you typically experience high levels of estrogen at the same time as lower levels of progesterone. It’s a bit later when estrogen begins to drop too and you are closer to a year without a period (that’s menopause). This high estrogen low progesterone state can cause Endometrial Hyperplasia (the excessive proliferation of the cells that line the uterus). Basically, the build up of your uterine lining (what you shed when you have your period). This condition can cause heavy and long periods and leave you at higher risk of uterine cancer. Heavy and long periods – I know them well. I’ve been dealing with them for…

  • Favourites

    Get Your Act Together In The AM

    Morning Routine Resource I’m a big fan Sadia Badiei, a nutritionist and dietician who hosts the wellness site and YouTube channel Pick Up Limes. I was going through her recent uploads and came across a great post where she shares her 10 strategies for a healthy morning routine including a printable checklist. I appreciate her approach to wellness because it’s informed and compassionate. Her tone is gentle and positive. Her suggestions are realistic and achievable. I highly recommend you check her work out. Speaking of morning routines, I have been tweaking mine recently. I have more time at the moment to work on my writing so I knew I’d need to make…

  • Body & Wellness,  Perimenopause

    Cheap Effective Natural Ways To Deal With Period Cramps

    Fennel & Ginger For Cramps, Flow & PMS One of my favourite sources for nutrition research is Nutrition Facts. Dr. Greger’s non-commercial, nonprofit, science-based website that provides free daily updates on the latest in evidence-based nutrition. In reading up about the increased flow and PMS symptoms during early perimenopause I found this video on the benefits of fennel seeds and ginger. It’s been found that fennel seeds work as well as ibuprofen for reducing painful cramps (without the side effects and way cheaper too!) and 1/8 tsp three times a day of powdered ginger can cut menstrual bleeding in half. Ginger also improves PMS symptoms such as mood, physical and behavioural symptoms while…

  • Perimenopause,  Personal Journey

    My Perimenopause Journey

    When I was 11 years old I became obsessed with puberty and the transition to adulthood. I devoured every book and pamphlet on the subject. Thanks to the flowery text from feminine hygiene product companies I had high hopes for puberty. I thought it would lead me to an immediate state of confidence and equanimity. I was deeply disappointed. Instead, like most, my teen years were turbulent.  Pimples, growth spurts, allergies and so many feelings. Thank you hormones, you powerful substances produced by endocrine glands, for all that you did and continue to do to make life so confusing and exciting. I’ve come to appreciate my puberty experience so much more now that my…