• Inner Work

    My Core Desired Feelings 2016

    For those of you who visit my website with an eye for details you may have noticed a change in my Core Desired Feelings over on the sidebar. In January I did my annual Desire Map work and I got a little more precise and a little more descriptive on how I wanted to feel. What I like about The Desire Map and Core Desired Feelings is that you do not need to obey the rules of grammar nor be sensible with the words you choose. If you want to feel like a Disney Character that can be one of your CDFs. If you want to feel spicy in whatever way you define spicy,…

  • Inner Work

    Chasing Goals VS Chasing Feelings

    You want it and you want it bad. Aspiring. Hoping. Plotting. Recurring. Reaching. Bubbling beneath your surface. You crave it — and it craves you. So you make a plan to get it. A to-do list. The bucket list. Quarterly objectives. Strategy. Accountability. The goal. Except . . . You’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re actually chasing a feeling. We have the procedures of achievement upside down. We go after the stuff we want to have, get, accomplish, and experience outside of ourselves. And we hope, yearn, pray that we’ll be fulfilled when we get there. It’s backwards. It’s outside in. And it’s running us in circles. – Danielle LaPorte…

  • Personal Journey

    I Am Afraid of Money

    Financial insecurity follows me around like a little pesky, taunting entity. It’s based in my reality. As a freelancer my income is inconsistent. I have debt. I was never taught money management skills and I never sought them out. Above all, I’m afraid of money – having it AND not having it. This is because I see my financial worth as a reflection of my personal worth. My heart knows this isn’t true, but my busy little poisoned mind likes to tell tall tales and say that it is true. I’m working on it. Unpacking it. Observing it. Releasing it. My bank account, my tax return, my debt – they don’t reflect my worth…

  • News & Notes

    The Desire Map – Best Option For You

    What is the Desire Map? The Desire Map started out as a book, written by Danielle LaPorte. From there, it became the driver of over 500 book clubs around the world. At the heart of it all? A commitment to feeling good. Cynics would say that choosing to place your focus on feeling good is silly – maybe, even selfish. But I (and thousands of other Desire Mappers around the globe) know better. Because who wants to live a life that doesn’t feel good? Who wants to work in a job that sucks their life force? Who wants to be in relationships where they don’t feel nourished and honoured? Who wants to…

  • Inner Work,  Personal Journey

    Avoiding Pain

    I have circled around this for a few months (actually years but very specifically more recently). Not pain but the various strategies I have used throughout my life to try to avoid pain, why I have tried to do so and why none have ever worked. It’s been interesting to unpack this deep-set of wounds. Challenging for sure, but interesting too. Perfection When I was a teenager and into my twenties I thought that if only I did such and such a thing I would be perfect and then I would not be in pain, that I would be happy. I thought pain was something to be avoided (more on…

  • Personal Journey

    September Catch-up

    Have you been following me on Twitter and Instagram? It’s where I’ve been most of the spring and summer. Online at least. That’s because I haven’t had time to dedicate to my writing beyond 140 characters. It was an experiment of sorts. Here is what happened. Opportunity In February/March I had the opportunity to apply for a job at Chez Stella – a local sex worker resource organization. Job opportunities are not something that come my way very often. One reason is that I have been self-employed and freelancing for close to 20 years. Another is that most of my work has been in and around the adult industry. I knew when I started in…

  • Simplicity

    My 2016 Day Planner

    Early this morning I purchased my copy of The Desire Map 2016 Daily Planner by Danielle LaPorte. I got so much from my use of the 2015 edition and I cannot wait to use the one for 2016. Danielle and her team have made even more improvements over last year’s version – it is radically newer, smarter, wiser, funner, and sexier. So exciting! There is nothing like the feeling of having a blank agenda to start the year. So many empty pages to fill with my thoughts, goals, inspirations, to-dos, questions and concerns. Not to mention milestone life events, family get togethers, meetings, appointments, friend dates and date dates. I…

  • Favourites

    Marvellous Minimalist Blogs

    Zen Habits An early discovery on my road to living a simpler and more productive life was Leo Babuata’s website. I found his posts very helpful as they are not just about decluttering our homes or being organized. They go deep into the feelings related to why we accumulate stuff. In my experience articles solely with tips and tricks are not enough for real change. Reflecting on the why and the how we have messy overburdened lives is key. This blog has both. I really like that. Also, he is a father of 6 children so his blog explores what minimalism can look like for families with children. Be More With Less Internet famous for…

  • Inner Work

    Gratitude Practice

    I so so so love my new gratitude practice. 10 Things Before bed I make a list of ten things I’m grateful for. Yes, I count them on my fingers. I say them over and over in my head and then drift off to sleep. Well, not over and over as I actually fall asleep before the second round. I don’t have insomnia, but I do have a busy brain and I need routines and rituals to help ease me to sleep. Otherwise, I toss and turn. I’m very restless. While I am glad this new gratitude practice helps me fall asleep it is actually about so much more. This practice is good for…

  • News & Notes

    Seskuality Workshop March 7th

    Sex Ed 101 For Adults With Seska Lee Event: Women’s Workshop Weekend – Organized by Jennifer June Chapman Day: March 7th, 2015 Time:1-3pm Location: Chateau St-Ambroise (4020 St-Ambroise, Montréal, QC H4C 2C7) Cost: $25 Yes, I went there. Orchid as a symbol for the vulva. Did you take Sex Ed as a kid? Was what you learned useful? Did it make sense to you and your life as a teenager? How about now as an adult? Most likely your answer is NO. Well, now that you are all grown-up you have the opportunity to fix that! Yes, you get a big Sex Ed do-over! This workshop is all about getting…

  • Personal Journey

    Why I Don’t Hide Or Deny My Past

    OK, time for a super personal blog post about who I am and what I used to do for a living. Yes, I was some version of a porn star. I do not hide or deny my past work because I think once you have done sex work you should be allowed the freedom and opportunity to do other work – without having to say you were a victim or a survivor if you do not identify as one. I do not hide or deny this aspect of my life because this experience has brought me to where I am today. It has helped shape me into the woman I am today. I’m…

  • Body & Wellness

    My Favourite Kale Recipe

    Ingredients 3 TBSP of Water 1 Clove of Garlic (crushed – though I love garlic so I thinly slice it) 1 tsp Red Chili Pepper Flakes 1 Bunch of Kale (or about four loosely filled cups – wash as you would lettuce and spin it but leave a wee bit of water on them) 1 TBSP Raisins 1 TBSP Coarsely Chopped Kalmata Olives 1 TBSP Lemon Juice (or more if you like lots of lemon) or Apple Cider Vinegar Using a large sauce pan sauté garlic and red chili pepper flakes in water for a few minutes (I choose water instead of oil because I like to reserve oil for…

  • Body & Wellness

    How Breakfast Changed My Life

    Breakfast. It all started with breakfast. But first let me back up a bit. After 17 years of being together I left my then-husband and went to live on my own. It was scary in many ways. It was the first time in my life that I ever lived alone. I was 39 and I went through a multi-year learning curve on the simple and complex aspects of being independent. One of the major adjustments I had to make was to learn to cook for myself – and only myself. I was used to cooking for us. At the very beginning I was all about convenience foods that I could…

  • Body & Wellness,  Personal Journey

    Public Declaration

    Sharing this blog post is a bit scary for me. I am declaring what is important to me. This declaration is about me making a commitment to myself. It is about me sharing a vision of my life. It is about inviting others to share in my journey of exploration and wellness. It’s also about making a list. You see, I want to share some personal life goals and use this special space that is Love-Yourself Living to further document my journey toward wellbeing. I want to be accountable. I want to do what I say I am going to do. I say all this knowing that I have publicly shared of myself…

  • Personal Journey

    2014 An Interesting Year

    2014 has been an interesting year, that is for sure. Pretty much a game changer for me. Sobriety The most interesting super big thing I did? I got sober. I won’t go into the details of what drinking was like for me because it still feels rather nuanced and personal, but what I can say is that ultimately I was very unhappy because of my drinking. My health, relationships and productivity all suffered because of it. I have had phases of sobriety these past few years and decided at the end of 2013 that it was time once and for all to go for it – take booze out of…

  • Simplicity

    My Simple Wardobe

    I’m a huge fan of a simple wardrobe – also called a capsule wardrobe. I have two – one for winter and one summer. The winter one consists of thick black leggings, a white undershirt and a black v neck sweater. I mix it up with grey sweaters or slim jeans. I also have one dress and one knee length black pencil skirt. I wear slim boots when it is above -5 Celsius or above. When it is colder and there is snow I wear my super duper winter boots. If I am going out to something a bit fancy and not doing much walking I have high heeled boots. At…

  • Inner Work

    Clearing Space, Mindfulness & Sex

    I have been doing much clearing this year. Of damaging habits, old strategies that were hurting more than they were helping. It is an on going process of internal, mindful recalibrating of the way I think, perceive and respond. I have also been doing this in a physical way. If you follow me on Twitter you will have noticed tweet about shredding and purging. One of the other things I have been doing in this recalibration is a mix of the mind and the body. I have created a new morning routine for myself! I was inspired after reading Be More With Less‘  Courtney Carver’s mini course How To Create…