Over the next few weeks I thought I’d write a little bit about my Core Desired Feelings (CDFs) and how they came about. I decided to start with FULL.
The dictionary today defines FULL this way.
containing or holding as much or as many as possible; having no empty space.
“wastebaskets full of rubbish”
synonyms: filled, filled up, filled to capacity, filled to the brim, brimming, brimful More
not lacking or omitting anything; complete.
“fill in your full name below”
synonyms: comprehensive, thorough, exhaustive, all-inclusive, all-encompassing, all-embracing, in depth
The cool thing about discovering your CDFs and using them to turn inner clarity into outer action is that they are personalized and don’t need to follow the rules of grammar. The dictionary’s definition is the starting point. I use FULL as one my CDFs mainly as an adjective but it also means a little more than that for me.
FULL as one my CDFs first began as NOURISHED. As I did the exercises last New Year’s Day – pondered my past experiences and envisioned what I wanted for my life going forward – I discovered that yes I wanted to feel NOURISHED inside and out, but I also had the desire to feel SOLID, GROUNDED and ADEQUATE. Essentially I wanted to feel that I take up space, stand my ground and feel good enough as I am in this world. FULL for me I discovered means that I’m sustained. I have enough. I’m not living with a scarcity mindset. I feel abundant with love, health, and resources. I feel stable. I take up space.
Taking up space physically and verbally is a challenge for many women. Our culture doesn’t support it and instead discourages it, even punishes it. You can read an essay by Jamie Utt that summarizes this very well here.
How I Feel Full
Here are few things I do to feel this Core Desired Feeling:
I nourish myself with healthy plant based foods (yep, NOURISHED became an action I take to feel FULL).
I feed my mind through mindful contemplation and learning. Lately that’s been through library books and podcasts.
I ground myself with daily meditation. I’m at 10 minutes a day each morning and I occasionally throw in a 5 minute session during my lunch break. I’m using the free version of the Calm app.
I surround myself with people who make me feel good about myself and the world – friends, family, colleagues and clients. I don’t have the time or energy to be with people who are passive aggressive or have a big hate on for the world at large. Anger and cynicism are things I do tap into, but I can’t live there all the time.
Danielle LaPorte recently wrote about the difference between numbness and emptiness. I think it ties in beautifully with my desire to feel FULL. So neat when coincidences like that happen.