I have been doing much clearing this year. Of damaging habits, old strategies that were hurting more than they were helping. It is an on going process of internal, mindful recalibrating of the way I think, perceive and respond.
I have also been doing this in a physical way. If you follow me on Twitter you will have noticed tweet about shredding and purging.
One of the other things I have been doing in this recalibration is a mix of the mind and the body. I have created a new morning routine for myself! I was inspired after reading Be More With Less‘ Courtney Carver’s mini course How To Create a Meaningful Routine. I am going to apply the principles (slowly – you gotta do it slowly) for my evening routine.
Well, what does this have to do with sexuality, you ask?
Because nothing we experience as human beings exists in a vacuum, in isolation. It is all interconnected. Practicing mindfulness allows us to be present in the moment. Not get lost in the past and simmer in regretful thoughts. Not Worry about the future or get lost in fantasy futures. Just the here and now. It is really all we have.
Mindfulness can be a part of all of our experiences – including sexual ones. In fact, as someone who had a tendency to (over)analyze, (over)think and (over)dramatize when it comes to sex I have found mindfulness an amazing tool to get out of the stories in my head and get connected to my mind, body and spirit.
This morning I read this passage from The 7 Lively Sins: How to Enjoy Your Life, Dammit and it seemed rather relevant to sex as mindfulness practice.
Sex is just a sweaty form of meditation. Think about it. The best lustful sex is about being in the moment, not obsessing about the past or future… or if your thighs look fat in a particular position… and so this means that orgasm is not the ONE AND ONLY big lure of lustful sex. A less obvious secondary benefit is that feeling of supreme peace that comes after sex – and this peacefulness isn’t entirely due to reaching orgasm, but ALSO due to reaching one’s metaphysical spirit, by being fully in the metaphysical moment. SO when we feel good after a lustful sex, it’s partially because we’ve emptied our cluttered brain of its chattering.