• Inner Work,  Personal Journey

    What a Big Life Change Meant for Me

    I recently experienced a MAJOR life change. I was let go from my job. It was something that occurred unexpectedly and caused acute stress in me. I had a very rough 24-hours as I digested what had happened. From the moment I realized what was happening (it took a good long moment, mind you) something interesting occurred. Gratitude began to percolate in me (along with a whole lot of other feelings— like sadness, fear, and shame). Why Gratitude? I think this happened because I knew that as one door slammed shut in my face that I would open another. I knew that all the deep and painful personal work I’ve…

  • Perimenopause,  Personal Journey

    My Perimenopause Journey

    When I was 11 years old I became obsessed with puberty and the transition to adulthood. I devoured every book and pamphlet on the subject. Thanks to the flowery text from feminine hygiene product companies I had high hopes for puberty. I thought it would lead me to an immediate state of confidence and equanimity. I was deeply disappointed. Instead, like most, my teen years were turbulent.  Pimples, growth spurts, allergies and so many feelings. Thank you hormones, you powerful substances produced by endocrine glands, for all that you did and continue to do to make life so confusing and exciting. I’ve come to appreciate my puberty experience so much more now that my…

  • Personal Journey

    If you could give all human beings one virtue which would you choose?

    Tolerance of our differences – without the desire to change others or want them change to be like us.On a personal level – with our families, friends, lovers, and significant others – this would save us a lot of frustration and heartache. Can you imagine never fighting about how to place the toilet paper roll? ;-) And on an international level I think if we were more tolerant we’d avoid so much political strife and greatly improve the living conditions of others (1.44 billion people live in extreme poverty and subsist on an average of US $1.25 or less a day). I think a greater virtue might be empathy (to…

  • Personal Journey

    The Big Tattoo

    It came to pass. It did not come to stay. This statement lives on the right side of my torso. It was beautifully painful to get. People with large tattoos in tender spots know what I’m talking about. The experience – it’s a special kind of high. I got it in the fall of 2011. I was about 18 months into my healing journey. I was still in a place of deep pain, but I was trying new things (like holistic nutrition classes) and reading a lot of Buddhist inspired teachings (like Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha and When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice…

  • Personal Journey

    Vitality

    The third of my small tattoos is a V for Vitality. It’s on the back of my neck – the nape. I like that word, but I digress.I desire vitality inside and out.  I want to be vibrant in mind, body and spirit. I want to be active and strong. I think this comes from a general desire to age well, to age gracefully, to age with dignity.  And that in part is because my father died of colon cancer when he was 54 and I was 24. He was diagnosed at age 49 and died 5 years later. He went through all kinds of treatments – traditional and experimental.…

  • Personal Journey

    Goals With Soul 2017

    The Desire Map is a workbook, a guide, a process. It’s a tool to help you get crystal clear on how you want to feel and take action to nourish and embody your Core Desired Feelings in all that you do. For the past few years on around New Year Day I revisit my Core Desired Feelings. I take out my old Desire Map workbooks and personal journals and look back. I reflect on the actions I took and the feelings I felt. Then I look ahead at how I want to feel and the goals (with soul) that I want to attain in the coming year. For me it’s part…

  • Personal Journey

    Intention

    Let me start with a little reflection on decluttering… I started my decluttering in 2011. I think I was ahead of the trend. By a smidge anyway. I had a tonne of boxes to go through because of my separation and move to my solo life apartment. I was depressed and anxious. I wanted to feel better about myself, my stuff and my space. I happened upon the book Magical Housekeeping: Simple Charms and Practical Tips for Creating a Harmonious Home by Tess Whitehurst and used it to clear up my space both physically and emotionally. It might not be the book for everyone, but I learned a lot from that…

  • Personal Journey

    Resilience

    I have four tattoos. Three of which are small. I got them on the same day. They were a part of my healing after the end of my marriage. One of them is the letter R on the inside of my left wrist. It stands for Resilience. Here are few of my favourite quotes about resilience. She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. – Elizabeth Edwards If all you can do is crawl, start crawling. – Rumi You drown not by falling in the river, but by staying submerged in it. – Paulo Coehlo

  • Personal Journey

    When you’re down what do you do to feel better?

    The way I feel better is by acknowledging that I feel bad and I don’t try to deny it, fight it or turn it into something different. This technique has had such impact in my life. Likely my most powerful strategy for my mental and physical health. I say physical because as I age I want to mitigate the physical consequences of stress. My body doesn’t bounce back like it used to if I feel muscles tightening in my back, shallow breathing or acid reflux. It’s never too late to address this part of our human experience! Here is what I do: When I feel down I take time to recognize…

  • Personal Journey

    Do you live more in the past, present, or future?

    I think at this point in my life I’m focused on the present in ways I wasn’t able to before. I meditate and have a mindfulness practice. This has helped clear away much mental clutter. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about the past and the present much of the time. I seriously do. ALL THE TIME! I have a nostalgic and romantic streak so I like to think back about the pleasant experiences of childhood – like family picnics and adventures in nature with friends. I like to tap into the excitement and infatuations of adolescence and my early 20s – like discovering interesting pieces of world knowledge…

  • Personal Journey

    A Revelation

    What I am about to share is a very big deal for me. It’s something I have not shared with anyone online. Big breath. OK, here goes. This photo isn’t an accurate representation of how I look. At least not now, in person, on a day to day basis. You see, that is because in the fall of 2013 I cut off most of my hair and in the spring of 2015 I stopped dying it. And during all that time if I was to go on stage for a burlesque show or take a selfie for the Internetz I wore a wig. This is what I actually look like today.…

  • Personal Journey

    I Am Multi Passionate

    I love love love this new video from Marie Forleo. She answers a viewer’s question on how QUESTIONS. Sounds quite a bit like someone I know – me! Have a look and then come back. Below I will break down my journey as a multipassionate woman for you. There are some key threads that hold it all together even when I am mixed up with fears and hopes. I think it will give a little insight into how my seemingly unrelated life choices do make sense. And if you are struggling with being multipassionate yourself, I hope you find it helpful too. My Foundation My foundation for my multiple passions is made up…

  • Personal Journey

    I Fell Off The Wagon – Vegan Edition

    On January 1st 2012, after not eating meat (no fish, cow, pig, chicken, sheep, goat, turkey, etc…) for nineteen years (fifteen of which I was vegan – no eggs, dairy or honey) I had a Big Mac. A cold Big Mac because I was too ashamed to eat it in the restaurant. I brought it home by taxi and ate it all by my lonesome. A true reflection of how disconnected I was from my self, my soul. That night I felt such shame which then turned into numbness. Cognitive dissonance kicked in, separating me from the consequences of my actions – the animal, environmental and human suffering associated with our…

  • Personal Journey

    Good Reads About Drinking & Sobriety

    When I was coming to terms with my alcoholism I was drawn to reading memoirs about drinking. I knew I had a problem and that something had to change, but I was afraid. I wanted to feel less alone in my experience AND find examples of women who had made the life altering decision to quit drinking. I wanted to know what sobriety looked like. It felt so unknown and I wanted reassurance, a sense of hope, that giving up alcohol was something I could do. Reading about it rather than attending meetings was a gentle and safe way to explore the concept of sobriety in private. I wasn’t quite ready to say aloud that…

  • Personal Journey

    What Sobriety Means To Me

    I have not had an alcoholic beverage since December 27th, 2013. On January 4th, 2014 I went in front a room of strangers and declared that I was an alcoholic. This declaration was important.  A public reality check of sorts that helped me create a final ending of a specific pattern of behaviour and start a new one. It helped me find a community of similarly minded people and feel less alone in my experience. It provided me with access to resources as I started to live my life without alcohol as a part of it – without my culturally celebrated pacifier. While I am now at ease with calling myself an alcoholic (it wasn’t easy at first), I do not…

  • Personal Journey

    Seska Trivia

    I have a BA in Child Studies and a BA in Psychology. In my twenties I worked as an educational consultant. I have continued my education by taking courses in nutrition, energy healing, mindfulness and online business. I have been active as a burlesque performer and cabaret producer since 2003. my costume for my Welcome to the Jungle number After recovering from a rare autoimmune disease called Paroxysmal Cold Hemoglobinuria I was inspired to train for a 1/2 marathon. I ran it in 2 hours and 14 minutes in the freezing rain. After a break from exercise I have switched things up and now take daily early morning 40 minute power walks. my 1st 5k race In the fall of…

  • Personal Journey

    I Am Afraid of Money

    Financial insecurity follows me around like a little pesky, taunting entity. It’s based in my reality. As a freelancer my income is inconsistent. I have debt. I was never taught money management skills and I never sought them out. Above all, I’m afraid of money – having it AND not having it. This is because I see my financial worth as a reflection of my personal worth. My heart knows this isn’t true, but my busy little poisoned mind likes to tell tall tales and say that it is true. I’m working on it. Unpacking it. Observing it. Releasing it. My bank account, my tax return, my debt – they don’t reflect my worth…